Strategies for Helping Children with Transitions

Apr 23

Mom and child crying because she is struggling with transitioning to dad's house. Child sees a play therapist in Middlesex NJ to help with transitioning to dad's house.

Transitions are a part of life, and they can be both exciting and challenging for children. Whether it's starting a new school year, moving to a new home, or adjusting to changes in the family, transitions can be overwhelming and stressful for young children. As a play therapist, I have seen firsthand the impact that transitions can have on a child's emotional well-being and behavior.

In this post, we will explore the importance of establishing a routine, offering choices, communicating clearly, and seeking professional help from a play therapist. By using these strategies, parents and caregivers can help their children feel more secure and confident during times of transition, and support them in developing the skills they need to thrive.

Establish a Routine for your child

Establishing a routine is a crucial aspect of helping children cope with transitions. A consistent schedule provides a sense of stability and predictability, which can help reduce anxiety and uncertainty. When a child knows what to expect each day, it can help them feel more secure and confident, even during times of change.

Creating a routine doesn't mean that every minute of the day needs to be planned out. Rather, it means establishing a general structure and sticking to it as much as possible. This can include regular meal times, bedtime routines, and specific activities or play times. For example, you might establish a morning routine that includes waking up at the same time each day, eating breakfast, getting dressed, and packing their school bag. You could also establish an evening routine that includes dinner, bath time, story time, and bedtime.

Child preparing his backpack for school after seeing a play therapist in Middlesex NJ who suggested implemented a routine at home to help with transitions.

When creating a routine, it's important to involve your child in the process. Ask your child for input on what they would like to do during certain times of the day. For example, they might want to have some free play time after school or read a story before bedtime. By involving your child in the process, you're giving them a sense of control and ownership over their routine, which can help them feel more invested in it.

It's also important to be flexible and make adjustments as needed. Life is unpredictable, and there may be times when the routine needs to be adjusted due to unexpected events or circumstances. When this happens, communicate with your child and explain why the routine needs to be changed. This can help them feel more secure and reduce feelings of anxiety or frustration.

In addition to establishing a daily routine, it can also be helpful to create a routine around specific events or transitions. For example, if your child is starting a new school, you might establish a routine for the first few weeks that includes a consistent morning routine, a specific after-school activity, and a consistent bedtime routine. This can help your child feel more comfortable and familiar with their new routine, reducing feelings of anxiety or uncertainty.

Offer your child Choices

Offering choices is another effective way to help children cope with transitions. It gives them a sense of control and independence, which can help them feel more empowered and less anxious about the changes they are experiencing.

Mother allows daughter to pick out her own clothes after seeing a play therapist in Middlesex NJ who suggested that they provide child with choices in order for the child to feel in control and decrease anxiety symptoms.

When offering choices, it's important to give children age-appropriate options. For example, a toddler might be given a choice between two different outfits to wear, while a school-aged child might be given a choice between different after-school activities. It's also important to provide choices that are meaningful and relevant to the situation at hand. For example, if your child is feeling anxious about starting a new school, you might offer them a choice between attending a school tour or meeting their teacher before the first day of school.

When offering choices, it's important to remember that the child's choice should be respected whenever possible. This helps them feel more in control of the situation and builds their self-confidence. However, there may be times when a particular choice is not possible or safe. In these cases, it's important to explain why the choice cannot be made and provide an alternative option.

Offering choices can also help children develop decision-making skills, which are important for their future success. By practicing making choices in a safe and supportive environment, children can learn to weigh the pros and cons of different options and make informed decisions.

It's important to note that offering choices does not mean giving children complete control over every aspect of their lives. As a parent or caregiver, it's important to set limits and boundaries when necessary. However, by offering choices within these limits, you can help your child feel more in control of their lives and less anxious about transitions.

Father communicates with child about transitions in order to decrease anxiety after seeing a play therapist in Middlesex NJ for anxiety.

Communicate Clearly

Communicating clearly is a critical aspect of helping children cope with transitions. Clear communication helps children understand what is happening, why it is happening, and what they can expect. It also helps build trust between the child and the caregiver, which is essential for helping the child feel safe and secure during times of change.

When communicating with children about transitions, it's important to use language that is age-appropriate and easy to understand. Young children may not have the vocabulary or the cognitive ability to understand complex explanations, while older children may need more detailed information. Tailoring your communication to the child's age and development level can help ensure that they understand what is happening.

It's also important to be honest and direct when communicating with children about transitions. Avoid sugarcoating or minimizing the situation, as this can lead to confusion or mistrust. However, it's important to frame the situation in a positive light and emphasize the positive aspects of the change. For example, if your family is moving to a new city, you might explain that the move will give them the opportunity to explore new places and meet new people.

When communicating with children about transitions, it's important to listen to their thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to ask questions and share their concerns, and validate their emotions. This can help them feel heard and understood, and can reduce their anxiety about the changes they are experiencing.

It's also important to communicate clearly about any changes to the child's routine or environment. For example, if your child is starting a new school, you might explain the new schedule, the layout of the school, and any new rules or expectations. Providing clear and specific information can help the child feel more prepared and less anxious about the transition.

Finally, it's important to communicate clearly about what the child can expect from the caregiver and other important adults in their life. For example, if the child is moving to a new home, you might explain who will be there to help them unpack and settle in. Providing this information can help the child feel more secure and less anxious about the changes they are experiencing.

child sees a play therapist in Middlesex NJ to help with anxiety related to transitions.

Seek Professional help from a play therapist

If your child is struggling to cope with a transition, it may be helpful to seek professional support. A Play Therapist can work with your child to help them process their emotions and develop coping strategies. A Play Therapist can also work with you to develop strategies for supporting your child through the transition. Play Therapists are trained to understand the unique needs of children and can provide a safe and supportive environment for your child to explore their feelings and develop coping skills.

In conclusion, transitions can be challenging for children, but there are several strategies parents can use to help their children cope. By establishing a routine, offering choices, communicating clearly, and seeking professional support from a Play Therapist, parents can help their children navigate transitions in a healthy and positive way. Remember, transitions are a normal part of life, and with the right support, children can develop the skills they need to adapt and thrive.

Janine Kelly, MSW, LCSW, RPT, CATP, ADHD-CCSP, CCATP-CA is a Registered Play Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist, and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex, NJ. Janine specializes in childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, and supporting children who experience neurodivergence such as ADHD and Autism. She also specializes in pregnancy and postpartum mood disorders such as anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, depression, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

*This blog is not a substitute for therapy. To schedule an appointment, please click below.