How to Help your Anxious Child Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

anxious child gets good grades at school and is confident in herself after seeing a play therapist for play therapy for anxiety in Middlesex NJ

As a parent, one of your most important responsibilities is to nurture your child's emotional well-being and help them grow into confident and self-assured individuals. However, this task can be particularly challenging if your child experiences anxiety. Anxiety can significantly impact a child's self-esteem and hinder their ability to confidently explore the world.

In this blog, we will explore effective strategies you can employ to support your anxious child in building their confidence and self-esteem.


Foster a Safe and Nurturing Environment

A safe and nurturing environment is the foundation upon which your child's confidence and self-esteem are built. Create an atmosphere at home where your child feels comfortable expressing their emotions without judgment. Encourage open communication, and actively listen when your child shares their worries or fears. Show empathy and understanding, validating their feelings, and reassuring them that it's okay to feel anxious at times.



Set Realistic Goals

Help your child set achievable and realistic goals. Start with small tasks and gradually increase the complexity as they gain confidence. Celebrate their accomplishments, regardless of how minor they may seem. This positive reinforcement will instill a sense of pride and motivate them to take on more challenges.

anxious child uses positive self talk after seeing a play therapist in Middlesex NJ for play therapy for anxiety


Encourage Positive Self-Talk

Teach your child to recognize negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. Encourage them to focus on their strengths and unique qualities. Help them understand that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and growth. When they encounter setbacks, guide them in reframing their thoughts in a constructive and compassionate manner.

Cultivate Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Anxiety can be overwhelming, especially for children. Introduce your child to mindfulness and relaxation techniques to help them manage their stress levels effectively. Breathing exercises, guided imagery, or yoga can be beneficial tools for calming the mind and reducing anxiety.

anxious child makes friends at a park after seeing a play therapy in Middlesex NJ for play therapy for anxiety, self-esteem, and confidence

Model Confidence and Self-Esteem

Children often learn by observing their parents and caregivers. Demonstrate confidence and self-assurance in your daily life, and your child is likely to follow suit. Be mindful of how you talk about yourself, others, and various situations. Encourage a growth mindset by demonstrating that setbacks are opportunities to learn and improve.

Promote Social Skills and Peer Interactions

Anxiety can sometimes lead to social isolation. Encourage your child to engage in social activities, playdates, or group settings to develop their social skills. Building positive relationships with peers can boost their confidence and help them feel more secure in social situations.

Foster Independence

Allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions and take on responsibilities. Empowering them with a sense of autonomy can significantly contribute to their self-esteem. Offer guidance and support when needed, but let them explore and learn from their experiences.


Seek Professional Support if Necessary

If your child's anxiety is severe or significantly impacting their daily life, consider seeking professional help. A Play Therapist specializing in anxiety can provide tailored strategies and techniques to address your anxious child’s specific needs. Play Therapy empowers anxious children to develop a stronger sense of self, promoting emotional resilience and ultimately enhancing their overall well-being



Helping your anxious child build confidence and self-esteem requires patience, understanding, and consistent support. By creating a safe and nurturing environment, encouraging positive self-talk, and fostering independence, you can empower your child to overcome their anxiety and develop a strong sense of self-worth. Remember that each child is unique, and progress may take time, so be sure to celebrate every small step forward. Together, you can navigate the challenges of anxiety and lay the groundwork for a resilient and confident future.


Janine Kelly, MSW, LCSW, RPT, CATP, ADHD-CCSP, CCATP-CA is a Registered Play Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist, and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex, NJ. Janine specializes in childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, and supporting children who experience neurodivergence such as ADHD and Autism. She also specializes in pregnancy and postpartum mood disorders such as anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, depression, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

*This blog is not a substitute for therapy. To schedule an appointment, please click below.

Janine Kelly Play Therapist and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex NJ for childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, childhood ADHD, childhood Autism, Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety and Depression
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