Helping Your Child Manage ADHD and Anger

angry girl with adhd screaming seeks help from a play therapist in Middlesex NJ for play therapy for ADHD anger and emotional regulation

Parenting a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be both rewarding and challenging. Children with ADHD often struggle with impulsivity, inattention, and emotional regulation, which can lead to anger and frustration. As a parent, it's essential to understand that managing anger in a child with ADHD requires patience, empathy, and a tailored approach.

In this blog, we'll explore strategies and tips to help your child with ADHD effectively manage their anger.



Understanding ADHD and Anger

Before delving into strategies to manage anger in children with ADHD, it's crucial to understand the relationship between ADHD and anger. Children with ADHD may experience anger and frustration more intensely and frequently than their peers due to several reasons:

  • Impulsivity: ADHD often involves impulsivity, which can lead to impulsive actions and emotional outbursts when provoked.

  • Frustration Tolerance: Children with ADHD may have a lower tolerance for frustration, making it more challenging for them to cope with setbacks or obstacles.

  • Executive Functioning: ADHD impairs executive functioning skills, including emotional regulation, making it harder for children to control their emotions.

  • Peer Relationships: Difficulty in maintaining friendships and social interactions can be a source of frustration and anger for children with ADHD.

Now that we have a better understanding of the connection between ADHD and anger, let's explore strategies to help your child manage these emotions effectively.



Parent and child learn about ADHD after seeing a play therapist in Middlesex NJ for play therapy for ADHD in children


Educate Yourself and Your Child About ADHD

Knowledge is power. Start by educating yourself and your child about ADHD. Explain to them that ADHD is not their fault, and it doesn't make them any less capable or lovable. Understanding their condition can help reduce feelings of frustration and self-blame.


Establish a Structured Routine

Children with ADHD thrive on structure and routine. Create a daily schedule that includes time for homework, chores, meals, and relaxation. Consistency helps reduce anxiety and frustration.


Teach Self-Regulation Techniques

Work with your child on self-regulation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or progressive muscle relaxation. These strategies can help your child calm down when they feel overwhelmed by anger.

ADHD child and parent practice relaxation techniques after seeing a play therapist in Middlesex NJ for play therapy for adhd emotional regulation, impulse control, focus, anger, social skills



Set Realistic Expectations

Be realistic about your child's abilities and limitations. Set achievable goals, and break tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small.



Encourage Physical Activity

Regular physical activity can help channel excess energy and reduce impulsivity. Encourage your child to participate in sports, dance, or any physical activity they enjoy.


Provide a Quiet Space

Create a calm and quiet space where your child can retreat when they need a break. A designated "cool-down" area can help them regain control of their emotions.


Develop Social Skills

Teach your child social skills such as active listening, empathy, and conflict resolution. These skills can help them navigate social situations and reduce frustration in peer interactions.


child with adhd in a play therapy session with a play therapist in Middlesex NJ working on anger

Seek Professional Help

Consider seeking help from a play therapist or counselor who specializes in ADHD. They can provide valuable strategies for managing anger and offer support to both you and your child.


Medication Management

In some cases, medication prescribed by a healthcare professional may be necessary to manage ADHD symptoms. Consult with a qualified healthcare provider to discuss medication options and potential benefits and risks.



Be Patient and Compassionate

Perhaps the most crucial aspect of helping your child manage anger is to be patient and compassionate. Remember that they are dealing with a challenging condition, and their anger is often a manifestation of their struggles. Offer a listening ear, support, and love unconditionally.




Helping your child with ADHD manage their anger is a journey that requires dedication, understanding, and persistence. By implementing these strategies and creating a supportive environment, you can empower your child to develop essential self-regulation skills and lead a fulfilling life. Remember that you're not alone in this journey, and seeking professional guidance can provide valuable insights and assistance. With your love and support, your child can learn to manage their ADHD and anger effectively, paving the way for a brighter future.


Janine Kelly, MSW, LCSW, RPT, CATP, ADHD-CCSP, CCATP-CA is a Registered Play Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist, and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex, NJ. Janine specializes in childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, and supporting children who experience neurodivergence such as ADHD and Autism. She also specializes in pregnancy and postpartum mood disorders such as anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, depression, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

*This blog is not a substitute for therapy. To schedule an appointment, please click below.

Janine Kelly Play Therapist and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex NJ for childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, childhood ADHD, childhood Autism, Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety and Depression
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