6 Tips on how to Parent a Child with ADHD
Your child with ADHD has constant meltdowns. They seem to come out of nowhere. The constant yelling and fighting…it’s like there is never a quiet moment! The stress of it causes you to lose control and have your own meltdown!
Below are 6 tips of how to parent a child with ADHD.
1. Do not Punish YOUR ADHD CHILD’S Uncontrollable Behavior
Keep in mind that most of the behaviors that your child displays are out of their control. ADHD is a neurological disorder in which children struggle with focusing, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. They experience deficits in executive functioning (task initiation, time management, flexibility, planning, prioritizing, organization, working memory, emotional control, and response inhibition) which affects their day to day lives. Most of these children experience their emotions more intensely.
2. Focus on the Positives
Focusing on the positives is something everyone tends to struggle with. As humans we tend to bring our attention to the negative things that may be occurring around us, even doing so with our own child. Can you imagine the effect this is having on your child? Your child with ADHD is constantly hearing about what they did wrong, what they didn’t do, what they need to do, what they should have done, etc. Your child is hearing this every single day whether it be at home or in school. This will greatly impact their self-esteem as they will feel that they don’t do anything right and may even feel that they are incapable of doing so. Try your hardest not to energize your child’s negative behavior and instead acknowledge their positive behaviors daily. It is impossible for a child to misbehave 24/7. Be on the lookout for the positive behaviors that they display and acknowledge them. Acknowledging your child’s positive behavior will not only reinforce those behaviors but will also increase your ADHD child’s self-esteem which in turn will make them feel more confident in themselves.
3. Role Model
Many children with ADHD struggle with managing their emotions and feel out of control. They don’t know what they can do in the moment to calm themselves down. As parents, just dealing with the day to day of parenting may cause us to become dysregulated. Use your dysregulation as an opportunity to teach your child to calm themselves down. You may do this by practicing deep breathing exercises or saying out loud. “Mommy needs a break. Mommy is going to go in the bedroom and listen to music.”
4. Establish Structure
Create a schedule for your child. Structure helps your child with ADHD stay focus and be organized. Ensure the routine is followed every day. Kids are less likely to throw a temper tantrum when they know what to expect and when to expect it. Below is an example of a schedule you may implement for your child in the morning.
6:30am: Wake up
6:35am: Have breakfast
6:45am: Brush teeth
6:50am: Get dressed
You may want to create the schedule as a checklist so that your child can check off each item as they complete it.
5. Set clear Expectations and Consequences
I often ask children what the rules of the household are, and they tell me “I have to behave.” But what does behave mean? Setting clear expectations will help ensure your child follows through. Aside from setting clear expectations, you want to set consequences as well. For example, your child is expected to be in bed by 8:00pm. If it is 8:10pm and you are going back and forth with your child about getting into bed, the consequences can be that the following day they have to go to bed 30 minutes early. I recommend that parents create an expectations and consequences chart which is to be posted in several common areas of the household. If your ADHD child is aware of the expectations and consequences, there should be no arguments as they made the choice to not follow the rules that were put in place.
6. Encourage Physical Activity and Sleep FOR YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD
Physical activity is great because it helps your child burn energy. As a result, your child with ADHD will be able to focus better when having to complete tasks. They will also be less impulsive. Sleep is also very important. If your child does not get adequate sleep they are likely have more difficulty with focusing and their mood will also be negatively affected.
Janine Kelly, MSW, LCSW, RPT, CATP, ADHD-CCSP, CCATP-CA is a Registered Play Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist, and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex, NJ. Janine specializes in childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, and supporting children who experience neurodivergence such as ADHD and Autism. She also specializes in pregnancy and postpartum mood disorders such as anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, depression, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
*This blog is not a substitute for therapy. To schedule an appointment, please click below.
