5 Tips for Parenting a Child with Trauma
Your child is not who they used to be. They are suffering from trauma. They may have witnessed violence, experienced abuse, bullying, loss of a loved one, a move, hospitalizations, etc. As a parent you may feel helpless. You don’t know how to handle this. You don’t know what to do or say to not make things worse. You don’t want your child to suffer even more.
Below are 5 tips on how you can help your child and provide them the support that they need to help them feel safe.
1. Be aware of their Triggers
Children who suffer from trauma may be triggered by something they see, smell, hear, or something you do. When a child experiences a trigger, the traumatic events returns. Being aware of your child’s triggers will avoid traumatic memories from arising and your child feeling anxious and unsafe.
2. Be Consistent
Establish a routine. Bedtime/wakeup time, mealtimes, play time, school, etc. If a change in the routine will take place, ensure your child is aware and prepared for it if possible. Your child feels safe when they know what to expect and when they feel their caregiver is in control.
3. Be There
Accept your child no matter what behaviors they display. Show them that you are there for them both physically and emotionally. When showing your child affection ensure that they feel comfortable. Do not make them hug you and kiss you. Always ask if they are okay with being hugged or kissed. Some children who suffer from trauma may be triggered by being touched. If your child speaks to you about the trauma, listen to them and empathize with them even though it may make you feel uncomfortable to hear them saying what they are saying. Answer any question that they may have and let them know that the feeling that they are experiencing is normal.
4. Provide Choices
Provide your child with choices such as what they wear or have for dinner that night. This provides your child with a sense of control as when they experienced the traumatic event they felt that they had no control over the situation.
5. Practice Self-Care
“You can’t pour out of an empty cup.” Take care of yourself. It is difficult to be the parent of a child who have experienced trauma. Schedule activities for yourself which you enjoy doing and that support your physical and emotional wellbeing. Ensure you have a support system in place for the difficult times. This may be friends, family, or seeing your own healthcare professional.
Janine Kelly, MSW, LCSW, RPT, CATP, ADHD-CCSP, CCATP-CA is a Registered Play Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist, and Perinatal Mental Health Therapist in Middlesex, NJ. Janine specializes in childhood anxiety, childhood OCD, childhood trauma, and supporting children who experience neurodivergence such as ADHD and Autism. She also specializes in pregnancy and postpartum mood disorders such as anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, depression, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
*This blog is not a substitute for therapy. To schedule an appointment, please click below.